söndag 17 januari 2010

Remembering Why I Practice

I just got back from India. I spent two weeks there during the Christmas holidays doing yoga and just relaxing. I wanted the trip to be a holiday, and not a "hardcore" yoga trip. I have a tendency to do things in a hardcore way. I´ve been practicing yoga so intensely the last few years that I am now feeling quite full. It has led me to question why I practice. In some periods, the practice has nearly been a goal in itself(although I am concious enough to know better...:-)If you practice everyday, early in the morning, some things have to be sacrificed. Like sleeping in the morning(which I love), having breakfast(I take a coffee and piece of bread at my desk at work), no late nights( like seeing friends over a glas of wine or watching a good movie), restricted diet and so on. Nealy all my holidays the last 4-5 years have been yoga holidays. Sometimes I think: "gosh, why can´t I be normal?"

I met some interesting people in India who had been doing yoga for a long time, and had started questioning if all that dedication had been worth it. That just reinforced my questioning of why I do yoga. I´m thinking that yoga is only a tool to help reach a goal, it´s not the goal itself. And what is the goal? Well, stilling the mind according to the yoga sutras. Why still the mind? To be happier and more free. Yoga should help you achieve a better life, with better health, more happiness, a more balanced mind, emotional equanimity and freedom!

I remember a story one of my teachers told us about a yoga student who was so serious about his practice that guruji told him to go out and have some fun! I like that story. Because if you´re too serious, life is not fun anymore!

So, I begin this year with trying to incorporate ahimsa and santosha in my practice. And aparigraha, not grasping for the results. I want to rest in my practice, not push myselt to it. I want to remember that I practice because it makes me happier and gives me a better life than if I didn´t practice.

Yeah:-)