Open Your Heart

I was writing down some phrases to remind myself of what I think is important for the year to come. Suddenly, it became a poem! It's not Shakespear (or Genoud:-), but anyways, it's ok, as it is...

open your heart

be present without attachment

let the past and future dissolve

in the space of your heart

give without expectation

receive without guilt

let the action come

from the center of your heart

watch the flow of life, as it is

rest in the knowledge

that all that is, is ok, as it is

beleive, that what you need

will come to you, when you are ready

if your heart is open

every morning, be greatful

for greatfulness is love without wanting

it is the path to opening your heart

Opening Up to the New Year

A wonderful thing about the mind/ body connection is that it works in both ways. The mind affects the body, and the body affects the mind. And the breath is the bridge between. If you can slow down and regulate your breath, then you can still your mind. I wish more people new this!

If you have problems in certain asanas, it might be worth while looking into what mental blockages there might be that is holding you back. When performing the asana there is probably an emotion underneath, and if you are aware and willing to listen, it will probably reveal itself. Then stay with it, work through it, accept it, let it's energy emerge so that it finally can be released. I think this is a great tool, because it might be difficult to come in contact with emotions that are deeply rooted and hidden away. But by working with the body, where the emotions reside, they can reveal themselves and thereby be possible to work with.

I think the bridge pose is one of the postures where it is very evident and easy to see the connection between body and mind. Emotions always pop up. Backward bending is stimulating and extroverting and it promotes an attitude of embracing life due to chest expansion and inhalation. So, as an exercise for embracing what life has to offer in the new year, I think I will work on my bridge pose, to open up for the new year!

Being Challenged

This morning in pratice Maria helped me, as usual, in Marichy C. I just felt how I cramped in my hips. We started talking about this, and she said that since I've been doing this pose for four years, and not much has changed, she did not think it was a physical obstacle, but a mental one. Well, not like it was in headstand, where I was scared of falling, but that probably there are emotions stuck in the hip. When pushed too fiercly in the posture, the muscles automatically cramp as a way of protection. The way out she thought, could be to have a more gentle approach, telling the body that it's ok, if you relax and let go, it's going to be fine. Relearning the body how to respond. Every morning before practice, I should do Baddha Konasana and Supta Virasana to open up the hips.
Also in Urdhva Danurasana I have issues in my shoulders....(who doesn't!), when she pulled me back so that I got deeper into my shoulders, wow, lots of emotions were coming up! Sometimes you need to be challenged for things to change, but in a warm and loving way, so that you don't tighten up even more! It's so easy to stay in a safe space. Let's see what happens!

Willingness to Change

I came across these words, an excerpt from:
"Gesture Of Awareness: A Radical Approach To Time, Space, And Movement" by Charles Genoud

I find these words so beautiful...

The willingness to change is rooted
in the acceptance of what is.
What is can only be present.

The wish to change is rooted
in the what should be,
and can only be made of past and future images.

Willingness to change
doesn't mean choosing the future.
Rather it means being patient

in an open way,
not anticipating what could happen next,
and not holding onto what is happening.

The willingness to change
may be the risk to be present
without clinging.

Being vs Acheiving

For two months, all I had to do was be. Now, back at work, back in a big city, I am expected to acheive. I am so tired of constantly acheiving things, and also, perhaps even worse, being judged by what I acheive. It feels like our society is based on acheivement. As a child in school, you are expected to come home with top grades. Later on when you start your carrier, you ar expected to deliver, to be a top acheiver. It doesn't matter so much who you are, but what you do.

In yoga philosophy, it is pointed out that you should not strive after the fruits of your actions. This is a form of non-attachment. If you are attached to the outcome of your action, you will not be totally present in the now, and you will most likely be disappointed by the outcome(things usually don´t come out the way you plan them to). If you act in a right way(following the yamas and niyamas), the fruits will grow naturally. For example, if you do a nice thing for someone with the intention of getting something back, you have acted out of greed. Perhaps this person doesn't immediately return the deed and you get dissappointed. This dissapointment might lead to you becoming angry at this person, you might stop calling, you might start to unconciously punish this person and so on. This will most probably lead to that this person most definately won't return the "kind" gesture, i.e. the fruit of your action did not appear. However, had you acted without any intention of receiving anything in return, but just acted out of the goodness of your heart, perhaps this person would return the goodness in plentitude. The fruits grow, but not as a direct result of a certain action.

Back at work...please boss, raise my salary, I'm really good at being!

A Powerful Practice

Coming back from my journey, I have observed peoples reactions.

If you take two months off from work, and practice 6 mornings a week, it means that you have to be passionate. It means you have to have discipline, it means you have to sacrifice some things. It means you beleive in something. This seems to affect people.

Many of my friends encourage me, and I am so grateful for that. It may seem that it is an obvious thing to encourage someones passion, but it is not. I think many people are afraid of the powerful force it means in devoting yourself to what you beleive in. I wonder why?

Some people react by saying something about taking so much time off from work. The loss of income, bad career move, welcome back to reality and so on.
Others comment on the practice. Going to bed early, getting up early and practicing before going to work, eating food that is good for you instead of what tastes good, on become too fit, on being happy and positive ( I guess it stands out since so many people are more or less depressed and are afraid of listening to thier hearts wish). On choosing one thing to which you direct your energy to make it grow, because this means pulling back your energy from other things. If you pull back your energy from things that affect other people, of course they will be scared!

Although I have a long way to go before I become free from everything that is holding me back from becoming who I really am, I do beleive I am on the right path. For every day I do my practice, I get closer to myself. I have faith. I also have fears. Fears of letting go of what I have, fears of discovering what is inside. But my curiosity and desire is stronger. All I can do is carry on the practice, and accept what comes with an open heart.

Keeping Up The Practice

Full of inspiration from my time in Mysore, I am determined to keep a 6 day a week practice. One important thing for keeping up a regular practice is inspiration. So, when the Mysore experience stars to fade, what to be inspired by? Well, I bought a lot of books on yoga (so cheap, so cheap...I just hope the parcel will arrive). I've already read two of them; "Health, Healing and Beyond by TKV Desikachar- please read it, brilliant book, and a book written by his son, Kaustub, about the life of Krishnamacharya. I one of these books it said that for healing to take place, you must send your body a possitive message of healing, every day. Every day madame, every day. Keep it up!

Stockholm/ Mysore

Back in Stockholm. It's good to be back, but also sad! I miss Mysore! I miss India! Maybe above all I miss my freedom. When I was there, 2 months seemed like a long time. Now that I am home it seems like I haven't been gone at all! How to readjust at work? Stress, deadlines, 8hrs a day infront of the computer, the whole "office thing" you know. And Stockholm is cold and dark.

Well, atleast it's good to be back in my flat, to see my friends and family, to have a washing machine, a warm shower, my own bed (nice and soft, although I did get used to the hard matress after awhile), and it's good to be back in the shala with Maria!

What I miss from Mysore: my friends, the shala, the warm weather, curd, jeera rice, breakfast at Santosha, palak paneer, chai at the chaistand, riding the scooter, my freedom.....

I'll be back I'm sure. Maybe in two years when Sharath is back from his presumed two year break. Until then I will probably go on another longer trip to a good yoga teacher, maybe Thailand or New Zealand. The hard part is getting off from work. But who knows what the situation will be like in a couple of years! I have faith though!

Bird Sanctuary

Yesterday Annette and I went on a trip to a bird sanctuary that is situated about 30 minutes from Mysore. There is a river here called "Cauvery River" where there are a lot of migrating birds and crocodiles. We went out on a boat, and we passed two crocodiles! My first WILD crocodiles! That was cool.

After that we went to a temple nearby. We only had 20 minutes before they closed, an d a man started leading us around the temple. At first I thought he was guiding us around because we had so little time, then we started wondering if he was going to charge us. We have been very cautious during our whole trip against tour guides, and in general against people trying to cheat us to pay more money than we should(people here try to cheat you all the time). Somehow we lost our guard, and we ended up paying him 350 Rps!!! Way, way too much. The whole trip with the rickshaw cost us 300 Rps! But shit happens. It's not about the money, it's about being cheated.

Now that I have written about it, I will not think about it again!

Last Days

Only a few days left in India. Tomorrow is my last day here in Mysore. It will also be the last day in the shala. Ledd class at 4:45. I've had three days off because of ladies holiday, and tomorrow I will practice despite that the period is not over. I'm not really sure what Sharath thinks of that. Since it's ledd class he will see that I don't go upp in headstand. Last time I was in same situation, he came to me in class and said "get up!". I placed my hand om my stomache and shook my head. Ok he said and left me alone. I know that here in India women who are menstring are considered unclean, and I'm not sure how they look upon that. At conference someone asked him why women shuold not practice while menstruating, and he said that if you are unlucky you might not be able to conceive, and you mught loose your period. Anyways, I'm practicing tomorrow, I really fell that I have to end the stay here with a practice!

Tomorrow there is going to be a big, organic lunch at the pool. I think half the shala is going! I think it will be fun to see everyone before we leave. I just hope the weather will be beeter. The last week has been cloudy and rainy. Maybe preparing me for the snow in Sweden?

Saturday we leave for Bangalore. We have bookeed two nights at a very fancy hotel. We're having a grand finale! I might shop some more....If I find some nice sneakers I will by a pair. That is soo much cheaper than in Sweden. I bought a pair of Levis for 2000 Rps (about 300SEK)!

I wil have to start saving money again when I come home....to aford the next trip!

Rain Again

During our first two weeks here we had great weather. After that there followed a period of two weeks with monsoon weather, which meant that it rained every day. I was caught up in the rain several times and I have never been so wet in my life! My low quality rain jacket didn't help one bit. It took ages to dry the laundry. I was even bored a few times during those weeks. Really!

After those weeks we've had great weather. I've been to the pool quite a few times to work on my tan(to make everyone jealous when I come home:-)

Today it's raining again....heavy rains. The streets are flooding. My hair is curlier that ever. I've had it cut by Tatiana, a Tjeck hairdresser. To promote my curls she cut a few layers into my hair. But, when I come home it's going to be very dry and cold, and my hair will once again be flat and lifeless....

I was thinking that maybe this rain is a preparation for my journey home which is in a weeks time. I heard it's been snowing. My God, I'm a bit scared of going back to the cold and the darkness. And the stress at work! I'm already planning my next yogatrip...

Cockroaches....

We've been really fortunate to have seen very few cockroaches in our apartment. We live in a newly built house on the third floor, so that helps (never live on the ground floor in India). I've heard stories of people waking up at night with the bed full of cockroaches, and two of our friends have been bitten by spiders (all these people lived on the ground floor,although it's not a water tight guaranty).

Last night I spotted a roche climbing up the leg of my bed! Ughh! But then I thought about all my unfortunate friends and thought that one little roche i nothing! Then I went back to sleep and slept very well! They are a part of life here, and atleast they don't bite!

Marichyasana C

This is the posture where Sharath has stopped me since I can't bind. In every ledd class he helpes me in "Utthita Hasta Padangustasana", probably to strech my lower back. Last week he helped me bind! Hurray! This week I am again miles away from binding....snyft....I guess progress doesn't go in a straight line!

Using The Internet

Next time I go to Mysore I will definately bring my own computer, and rent an apartment with internet access. I haven't been writing as often as I had hoped for. The reasons are that the days here are quite busy (!), and in the evenings when I have time and energy to go to the internet place there is usually either a line and you have to wait, or there is a power cut. Sometimes I think that today I will go use internet, but then I do something else instead (like yesterday I went for a pedicure), or I just don't have the energy. I go to bed sometime between 8 and 9 pm, and I need time before to wind down and do my pranayama and meditation, so at the end of the day there is not much time for internet! Life is hard here in Mysore:-)

Breakfast With My Friends

This is the shala where Krishnamacharya taught Pattabi Jois, and where BKS Iyengar now is teaching. It wasn't very clean....I'm glad they have a new shala now!

Krishnamacharyas Old Shala

Scooter Adventures

Finally, after 6 weeks of riding on the back of Olles or Brittas scooter, Annette and I got the courage to rent a scooter. I've never driven a scooter before, and the first time I took the stearing wheel (full of confidence that it was going to be a piece of cake), I thought that it was mad of us to rent one. I was a danger to traffic! Annette who has been driving more than me also felt a bit shaken by the experence! Olle was laughing at us, and Laura said it looked dangerous! And the traffic here in India is mad! It looks like chaos, but actually there is an order in all the chaos; go with the flow and never hesitate! Today i rode the scooter into town! Wow! I'm impressed with myself! Face your fears and live boldly!

A Wonderful Lady

Today we went to have breakfast at a place in Lakshmipuram, near the old shala. This is the place where all the old yogis back in the 80:ies and 90:ies used to eat. They have a little shop where they sell books, mats, incense and all kinds of yogic supplies. And then they have breakfast, lunch and dinner. The lady running the place is called Nagarathana. She cooks Ayurvedic food, and since they are a Brahmin familly, she blesses the food she serves, and cooks it with love. Since it was our first time there, she gave us the breakfast for free! And I tell you, it was the best breakfast I've had here! We had a lovely chai, then some kind of pure made from mung beans mixed with ghee and some spices and cashew nuts and had with a chutney. I've never had anything like it before, but it was soooo good! Then we had the best fruit sallad and home made curd (=yoghurt here in India- it's less sour than in Sweden and I like it better). She said that love, kindness and good karma is a lot more important than money. Money comes and goes, but you always carry your karma with you...so true!

We will definately go back for lunch!

Powercuts

Exactly, this is what they look like! Powercuts all the time! But the first month I was here we didn't have a single powercut. Now it happens several times a day. I heard from an Indian person that the goverment is trying to save money, so they cut off the power now and then, and that on the 15th of November it will be back as usual! Sounds crazy! Don't know wether to beleive it or not.
Anyways, now I am at Rishis Internet Cafe (where they have an extra generator) instead of Anus (where they don't). So, back to they theme of a typical day in Mysore:

• I wake up at 5:15am except on fridays and sundays when there is ledd class at 4:45, which means getting upp at 3:30am!
• Practice at 6:15am, after that I have a coconut outside the shala chatting with other yogis.
• Go home, have shower and then off to have breakfast at Santosha, Om Cafe, Vivienns or Tina's
• After breakfast I go with Olle and Britta to have a wonderful dubbel cappucino at Barista, and we sit there for over an hour and chat and read the Indian newspaper.
• The rest of the day I might do some shopping (I am really shopping a lot here, what am I going to do with everything?), go to the pool, look at some sight, go for lunch, do some washing up (by hand.....it takes forever, and the water is not so warm and I wonder how clean the clothes get), go to an internet cafe to blog and email, wait for maybe half an hour for a free computer, then I give up and think that tomorow I will blog, but the same thing happens the next day, that's why I'm not blogging as much as I had hoped for. Next time I come here (oh yes, I will), I will bring my own computer and have internet connection at home! God, that would be so lovely!

So, the days pass by here in a slow but lovely tempo. The Indians are not a stressed people(well, in the big cities I guess they are). There is time to really talk to people, and there is time to be by yourself, there is time to read and reflect, and above all; there is time to really go in for the yoga.

The Days Pass By

Well, only three weeks left here, and that means that I have been here for five weeks! I'm really getting used to the life here now. I don't know how I am going to adjust when I get home?!
A normal day here in Mysore would look something like this:
oh, oh another powercut- can't write this time either.......grrr

Adjustments

You don't get so many adjustments here in the shala. One the one hand it has to do with the fact that there are about 70 people in the shala at the same time. Sharath and Saraswati don't have the time to adjust everyone. There might also be another reason, although I am not sure there is a deleberate meaning or not, and that is that you have to try by yourself to enter the postures, and I think that that might be a more powerful way for your body to learn than to have someone adjust you everytime you try to enter a posture.
Sharath is adjusting me in my last pose maybe every fouth day, and on one of the ledd classes he helps me in "Utthita Hasta Padangushtasana". I think he helps me in that one because he wants to see how flexible I am in my lower back to be able to go deeper in Maricyasana C, but I'm not sure. That's more adjustments than I had expected to get! And I'm quite enjoying not getting so many adjustemnts!
Even though there are many, many students here, Sharath sees everyone....I don't know how he does it, he has a hell of a memory.

Excursion

I haven't been blogging for a while, so I am writing about an excursion we did a week ago (I've now found an internet cafe that is not so crowded, hence not having to wait fore an hour to get a computer!).
We (meaning "the Swedish Collection" i.e Olle, Annette, Britta, Monika and me) rented a car to go to some "Hoysala Temples" a few hours west of Mysore. We rented an "Ambassador", which is an old car with room for five people + a driver. The poor old car only does 70km/hour, so the trip to Belur took about three hours insted of two. Add to that the bad roads and all the cows, dogs and people and you might get a picture of why it takes time to travel in India.
It was worth the trip though. The temples are nearly 3000 years old, intricate carvings in soapstone, blacked by age, and still in use today! If you want to see pictures have a look at Bills page (planetashtanga). I now have my pics on a memorystick, I just have to remember to bring it with me the next tome I go to blog!

Down With a Cold

Lot's of people in the shala are sneezing and blowing their noses, so it's just been a matter of time before I came down with a cold. I was hoping to stop it, but now I'm feeling quite congested and not so well. I haven't practiced for four days! I hope to be able to practice on thursday. I'm quite strict with not practicing when sick. I know the Mysore tradition is that you can practice as long as you don't have a fever, but my beleif is that you need to rest. My teacher Lisa says that as long as the practice gives you energy it's ok to practice, if it takes energy then it's best to rest.
I bought this Indian flu medicine, and I'm already feeling a bit better, so we will see! It's a bugger to get sick and miss practice! But that's life; you can't always get what you want, and things don't always work out the way you plan. That's something I am learning here in India, to not plan too much, take things as they come, and be ready to change your plans. It feels quite good though, to take things as they come!

Diwali

Finaly Diwali is over. The whole neighbourhood has been like a warzone for three days. Kids blowing off fire crackers all day (and all night) long. It´s been perilous to go outside! And difficult to sleep with all the noise. Besides the crackers, people light oil lamps outside their houses every evening for three days. That, on the other hand, is beautiful. Divali is the festival of lights, it´s to celebrate the god Rama (there are soo many diffrent gods, it´s hard to keep track of them all). The crackers are meant to scare away the demons.
The first eveing of the festival we went to a restaurant on top of a roof in the middle of Mysore, so that we could see the fireworks. There was so much smoke from the fireworks that it was hard to see them! What we did see were rats! Climbing a pillar just next to the kitchen!
After that we took a walk in town among workshops and the everyday life of town, and took pictures. That was great fun! Most people are happy to pose, if you just ask them. Just one old woman wanted 10 rupees. I will try to put up some pics here if I manage...

Practice

My first week of practice was great. I felt soo flexible!
This has changed. The last two weeks I have been more stiff. People say that it goes in circles. You are flexible for a while, then you feel stiff for a while, and then suddenly you are flexible again for some time and so on. So, I am now waiting to become more flexible again!
Sharath is humming and smiling at me when he adjusts me in Marichyasana C (my last posture). I am not advancing there for the moment. My headstands feel more secure, perhaps I am a bit stronger, but otherwise I don't really feal any improvement in the practice. Again people say it takes atleast a month for the practice to change down here. Also that you notice what has changed when you come home. At the moment, I don't want to come home!
Hopefully in a few weeks I can write that my practice is amazing:-)

Being Busy vs Being Bored

Well, I haven't written for a while since I've been filling up my days with activities, and I haven't had the energy to go to the internet cafe (you usually have to wait for quite som time too to get a computer).
Last week I had one day when I felt bored. Used to having my days filled with activities, a day without anything special to do felt boring. But I think it can be good to be bored sometimes. You need a balance between rest and activity, boredom and having fun etc.
Anyways, what have I been doing the last days?
One day I went to visit a local artist who paints these amazing works of art. Aparently he is quite famous. He was such a wonderful person. I wish he gave painting classes. He felt like a true guru. I don't remember his name right now, but I have a little broschure with his work.
Another day I went with some friends (The Swedish Collection as we are called) to visit an ashram, but it was closed, so we went to the nearby temple instead. This is really a religious country. I like that. Religion is everywhere. Every morning the women are out painting mandalas outside the gates. It's really beautiful.
Yesterday we went to visit the shala where Krishnamacharya taught Pattabi Jois and others. It was definitely different than the new shala where we are practicing now! Upstairs in that building BNS Iyengar is teaching today (not to get mixed up with BKS). Man, it was dirty! The floor was full of dirt, and they practiced on rugs that were falling apart! Anyways, it was nice to see.

Lunch With The Landlord

Last Sunday Annette and I were invited to lunch with our landlord. When we were in their house earlier, we wondered where they eat, since there were no tables. Now I know; they eat on the floor. We also got their only cutlery, since they eat with their hands. The Indians say that eating with your hands makes the food taste better, and improves your digestion.

So, after carefully washing our hands, we sat down on the floor and observed the family to understand HOW to eat with your hands. It's nearly an artform. Imagine to eat rice and a hot, gruely dal with just your fingers! To end the meal we were served rice mixed with curd (yogurt), which is said to absorb the heat in the food, and make your stomach calm. The only thing was that there was ofcourse spices in that too! Pieces of whole, green chilies! The small, really hot kind! You are ofcourse not supposed to eat them. But I didn't see them, so I bit in a piece of chili! Tears were flowing, and I got hick up! "Look up in the ceiling" they shouted. They gave me a tablespoon of sugar to melt on my tongue, and after a while the heat was gone. What an experience! I think eating with my hands is not for me.

In The Waiting Room

It's always a bit chaotic in the waiting room before going into the shala in the morning. Everyone is apointed a time for practice, and the longer you've been here, the earlier times you get. I started at 7.15, now I have 7, and I will probably practice earlier and earlier as time goes by. People come and people go, so Sharath moves people back so the newcomers get the late times.

It's quite democratic. It doesn't matter if you are a hotshot, or a long time student or if you are here for the first time. You get your time, and you just accept that. Maybe like five to ten people get the same time, so in the waiting room, you have to keep track of who was there before you. The thing is that some people get there really early (my teacher told me that Sharath really disaproves of this, I'm beginning to understand why now). So there is always a confusion on whos turn it is to go into the shala when Sharath shouts "One more!".

Yesterday and today there was this guy who came after me, and after a lot of people who were waiting to go in. I know he has the same time as me and others waiting. He just went in before everyone else! We were just looking at each other like questionmarks. I wish I had said to him "Have you studied the Yoga Sutras, I mean, really studied them?". Just as well I didn't.

There was also this incident in ledd class when this girl asked another girl who had stopped in an earlier pose to move so that she could get more space! You are supposed to sit on your mat in padmasana and wait to join the finishing postures. Luckily Saraswati saw this and asked the girl to come back.

So, there are a lot of big egoes here. I'm thinking of asteya- non stealing. If you rob someone of there time and space, that's a form of stealing.
Most people are really wonderful and humble here, but there is a group of people who are "the cool ones" with big egoes. Some people say "hi" to you, some don't even see you. I guess you get this everywhere, even with yogis. I just try to avoid them, but since I wrote this post on the blog, they got to me somehow...

Feeling Great

Two weeks in India, and I am feeling great! This a lifestyle that suits me....

The fact that I am not stressed, and not sitting in front of a computer 8 hours a day is evident.

Furthermore, the heat does me good. It is not so humid as I feared, so this is good. I am more flexible, and I have no pain in my hip, and my joints don't crack as much!

People here (the yogis that is), only eat twice a day. Breakfast and then a late lunch in the afternoon. We go to bed early, so it works fine. You don't get so hungry when it's hot either. The food is really healthy and nutricious. This is an an eating habit that fits me well. I have more energy, because the body has time and space to digest the food.

My skin is really good, I have lost weight, I have a nice tan, I feel fit from practicing 6 days a week (both physically and mentally), I meditate every evening, and I have time to reflect, so my mind is still. Yeah, I really feel in harmony with myself and everything around me! I wish more people could experience this! I hope it will continue this way...

Ayurveda Course

Today I started taking a course in Ayurveda with a Dr. Anil Kumar. He is supposed to be one of the best here in Mysore. It will be twice a week for four weeks. It's an introductory course. He seems very good.
We where told to meet at the coconut stand at 11 am, and then we would go together. Somehow the woman who organised the course didn't show up, and we didn't even know if there was going to be a course or not! But after a few phone calls we decided to go anyway. When we got there there was no problem. I guess that's India; you never know how things are going to work out, but they somehow!

Shopping

Today it is quite cloudy after a rainy night. We decided to go shopping. We went to a store that is called "Rashinkar". They have yoga books, yoga mats, yoga bags, scarves, silk....
I shopped a lot. But it is soo cheap compared to Sweden! For 4560 rupees I got five yoga books, good ones, a "monk bag", three scarves (two in raw silk), a cotton yoga mat and a yoga bag. I think I might have to shipp some things home! Books and mats weight a lot! I bought a cheap cotton mat on my first day here, but I am not so satisfied with it. I also bought a rubber(or was it plastic?) mat today. The one I brought with me is tearing up the skin under my big toes. I had forgotten about this. These mats I will leave here when I go home. Even though everything is cheap, it all adds up! I will have to start making acounts to keep track of my shopping. And to think before I buy things. Many things are really bad quality. Like a nice bag I bought the other day for 150 rps (20 kr). Really unecessary. It's already falling apart. But, there are still many things I want to buy! Hmmm.
Going home now to read some in my books before I go to Anus for some dinner. Life is easy here.

Ledd Class

Friday was ledd class. Sharath was counting and saying the name of the postures.....samasthiti, ekam inhale, dve exhale.....
When he had counted to two, I had counted to five, at least! So in that way it was tough, to hold the postures for a longer time than what you are used to!
They say it is good for learning the vinyasas, to know exactly when to inhale and exhale.
There was a French TV-team there filming us. They were making a documentary for French television. I was interviewed!! It might come out on You Tube.....in a way I hope they cut me out. I was soo sweaty and probably red in the face!

Getting To Know People

Saturday and no practice. I slept to 8:30 pm! I had a good nights sleep. Am I getting used to the mattress? Last night we were invited to a party at Collette's place. She is a Canadian woman that Britta knows from chanting class. She rents a room in a house that is owned by a Norwegian ashtangi called Alexander Medin. He lives a great part of the year in Mysore, so he has built himself a house here in Gokulam. Very nice, modern, whin a zen-ish garden. If I come here again on my own I might consider renting a room in that house! Really, there is no problem coming here on your own. It might even be good. You get to know people very easily. After practice in the morning, people hang outside the shala and drink coconut and chat. After that you go home and change and then go for breakfast. There are a few places to go for breakfast. So far I've been to Santosha and Om Cafe. Most people are easy to talk to, especially if they are newcomers. I've noticed that people who have been here a while, or come every year are somewhat reluctant to talk to rookies. In a way that is understandable, since people come and go all the time. On the other hand you can sense that there is a kind of hierarchy. I prefer the humble people, those who think it is interesting to talk to other people despite if they are advanced yogis or newcomers. And there are ofcourse many of those too!
At the party I got to know a nice Brittish girl who tipped us about an Ayurvedic course that starts on Monday with a Dr. Kumar. I am going to go and see what it is. I really want to learn more about Ayurveda, and also it will be twice a week. It will be nice to have something more to do, and to have a routine. It might be just enough, people are saying how easy it is to get too busy here, when what you really need is to focus on the yoga and also have time to relax!

The Shala

When I went to register, I was nervous. Guruji was sitting in his chair, but he is looking very old and perhaps a bit senile. I hardly dared to look at him! Sharath asked us to fill in a form, gave us a card and asked ut to come at 7.15 am.
The next morning we arived 15 minutes early: 5 minutes earlier as said Sharath and an extra 10 minutes ealy because the shala clock goes tem minutes before!
There was a lot of energy in the room, and it was very warm and sweatty! But I was soo flexible! My god, what a difference! But as I anticipated, he stopped me in Marichy C. Fine with me. When I was going to do headstand I was really nervouse, since I had only done it on my own a couple of times. The first few attempts were shaky, but then I made it. Ouff!
After practice you can buy a coconut to drink for ten rupies and chat with the other yogis before you go home to was, change and the go for breakfast. Lots of Japanese people are here, Brasilians, Americans and Italians. There are also other Europeans, Finns, Irish, Brittish, Turkish, but I think we are in minority!

More to come!

Getting Settled

The Apartment
We live in an apartment that is built on top of a house belonging to an Indian family. It is a newly built house, very nice in a quiet area, five minutes walk from the shala. You walk up a staircase on the side of the house. It has a fairly big living room, a kitchen, one bedroom, a nice bathroom (after we cleaned it) and a lovely terass! The house is on a hillslope, so it's quite high up, which gives us a wonderfull view! We can see Chamundi Hill from our terrace.
There had only lived one person there before, a Chinese woman, but the place was soo dirty that we had to scrubb tthe place despite that an Indian cleaning lady had cleaned the place bofore! We decided to do our own cleaning. The Indian cleaning is not what we Swedes would consider clean! But, if I can get used to the hard bed, or eventually buy another mattress, I think I will enjoy living here.

Arriving in Mysore

Finally, I'm in Mysore! The plane was 8 hours delayed, so we had a long wait at Heathrow. Our preordered taxi waited for us from 4 a.m till 12.00! Then it tokk nearly four hours to drive from Bangalore to Mysore (180 km). Bad roads, cows, traffic jams, you name it. It was hot and we were tired. We finally arrived at the Green Hotel and just crashed. No dinner, hard beds, very noisy, but I slept uninterupted for ten hours! It was a very nice hotel though.

Next morning we went to Gokulam, which is the area where the shala is located. It is Mysore's posh area. We looked up Shiva, who is one of the two "brokers" who can help you with just about everything. He is a man in orange clothes and a long beard who greats you with "Namaste". Not the kind of man you would think of as a businessman, more of a holy man, but I'm sure he makes big money! He said he only had two possible apartments for us, one with just one bedroom, and one with two bedrooms, but it was very dark. We looked at the one with one bedroom, thought it was nice, but could we please see a few more before we decide? Preferably with two bedrooms? "Why you want to look at other?" "If you like this one, you take it!" Ok we said a bit shaken, we take it. Then we went to have a coffee at Vivienns, and we talked to some people who said that 12 000 rupies for only one bedroom sounded very much, so we decided to look at a few more apartments the next day.

We found two other brokers, Murthy and Raju (actually a rickshawdriver with connections), but all the apartments we saw were too dark, too dirty or too far away from the shala. So we finnaly settled for the first one: the one with one bedroom for 12 000 rupies. Ok, finally we can settle down.

Leaving Tommorrow

One day to go. Everything is ready. I´ve been a bit stressed this week, getting everything done. I like having control and being prepared when I travel. At the same time I am hoping that I will be able to just take in everthing that will happen in Mysore without expectations, to just let go and let everything happen. To surrender to the moment (something I need to work on- I´m hoping India will do this for me)!

So, how did it go with my headstand? Well, yesterday I had a breakthrough. I felt that now is the time. Now I have to do it on my own. Soon no wall and no teacher. I just did it! And it was easy. The fear of falling was gone. The inbalance in my shoulders didn´t matter. I just lifted and stood steady as a mountain. I think I needed the challenge. I needed a goal. I felt victorious.

I also got some good tips on how to work with my injured hip from a teacher who is also an osteopat. That felt very good too.

The last advice I got from my teacher Maria was:
Come just in time for practice. If they say be there at seven, be there at seven, not earlier.
Just surrender to what happens.
Do what the teacher tells you.
Do your thing, and don´t look at what the others do. It´s your journey.
Relax and enjoy!

See you in Mysore!

Yoga and Skincare

As many of my friends know, I make many of my own skincare products. It is an interest that has developed over the years, coming from an endless search on how to get rid of my skin problems. I have tried the "common" way, ie using harsh chemical products, which have side effects, but I have come to realise that the only good and enduring way is to use natural products, reduce stress and have a healthy diet. The reason I am absolutely convinced that diet is a key factor is that when I have fasted, my skin became clear just in a few days (however when I ate again the problems returned). I was also a gluten free vegan for a while, and that was also a miracle for my skin and health! Unfortunately, it was death to my social life...I think maybe diet will be another post, there is so much to say there!

So what does yoga say about skincare? Well, for one thing, ashtanga yoga is detoxing. You clean your organs through breathing and twisting and sweating. Since the skin is the body´s biggest organ of elimination, it´s helpful if your other elimination organs are working as they should.

Also, you should wash before practicing. After practice you don´t shower, but let the sweat be reabsorbed back into the skin. The skin then doesn´t loose the minerals it then would have lost in the sweat. When the skin is clean, the sweat doesn´t smell. However, I always wash my face after practice, to avoid the pores from clogging.

An ayurvedic practice I have adopted is to brusch my skin before showering with silk gloves (garshan massage), and then massaging my skin with oil after the shower, when the skin is still a bit wet (abyanga). The best thing is to massage the oil before the shower. This protects the skin from drying out, and the warm water makes the oil penetrate deeper into the skin. However, the pipes get clogged, so I do it after the shower.

Traditionally, warm, "prepared" sesame oil is used. I prefer to make my own, fantastic, wonderfully smelling oil. Here is the recipe:

Coconut/ Cocoa Oil

On very low heat, melt one tablespoon coconut oil (virgin, cold pressed) and one tablespoon cocoa butter. Poor into a small bottle. Add a tablespoon of jojoba oil. It already smells wonderful, but you can add your favorite essential oil to make it smell ever nicer! I use vanilla oil and Krishna Musk. Before massaging the oil into your skin, put the bottle under running, warm water a few minutes to make i warm. Since both coconut oil and cocoa butter are firm in room temperature, it will in a week or so return to that state, just warm the bottle and it will become liquid again.

On my face, I use Raw Gaias products. It´s the best. They also have skin care info on their page. Check it out: http://www.rawgaia.com/

To make a lighter facial cream, I mix jojoba oil with aloe vera gel.

The best website I have found on natural skincare: http://www.acne-advice.com/

More to come on this subject, I´m sure. If you have any tip, please comment!

Learning From Injury

Today I had an insight. -It´s not import how many asanas you do, but how you do them. How you do them....hmm
I have known this before, but not really understood. You know, with your whole being. I´ve been reading blogs and other texts about what Guruji says about the practice. This is what I have read:
If the breathing is ok, then the asana is ok.
The first series is enough. The second series is for those who don´t get it in the first series. The third is for thoses who don´t get it in the second.
Just because you can put your legs behind you ears does not mean you are a good yogi.
Here is a nice interview with Sharath: http://ashtangayogashala.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=165&Itemid=1

I have injured my hip this year, and I can´t go as deep in the asanas as I could before. I don´t do as many as I used to either. I have to do less to be able to heal. Even though I know this is good for me, I have felt a twinge of jealousy looking at other yogis doing more advanced postures, and thinking that I have taken a step back in my practice. I have been attached to the image of myself where I was before the injury. Also I am now rethinking the idea of progress.
I am now considering myself lucky to be doing fewer asanas. I can now concentrate on what is really important: breathing, concentration, awareness, bandhas, humilty, ahimsa and so on. Also my practice now is regular and steady. That´s a big step for me! And getting up in the morning! Wow, I´m lucky!

On Practicing When Ill

Today I woke up and felt that I might be having a cold coming. I decided not to practice. I really don´t have time to become ill right now. So much to do before leaving! So I´m hoping that my decision is a good one, and that my body can rest and fight whatever has gotten into it!

This thing about practicing or not practicing when ill is a tricky question. I´m not sure there is a right or a wrong. I guess it´s up to everyone to feel what is good for them. If you ask different teachers, they will have different attitudes on that. Some will say that it ok(or even good) to practice when ill, just as long as you don´t have a fever (like Lino Miele). Some teachers say to listen to your body, and you will know if it´s ok or not. Maria says never to practice with a soar throught.

My view is that I don´t practice when ill. I think the body needs to rest then. When feeling low of energy, having a headache and so on (like today), I think it´s ok to practice. If you´re lucky you will feel better afterwards, but if you´re unlucky, the cold might break out. Now we´re talking about vigorous ashtanga yoga. I think a restorative yoga session might have done me good this morning.

And we have the issue of ahimsa. Being kind to yourself. This morning I was being kind to myself and letting my body rest to be able to heal. But then I have my thoughts: "you´re a bad yogi for skipping practice this morning", "if you skip one practice, it´ll be easy to skip the next, you should have gone", and so on, and so on. That´s not ahimsa. This brings up the question about dicipline. To do you´re practice despite all the thoughts about why not to get up in the morning and practice. How do you distinguish between a good and healthy reason for not practicing from the lazy reason? I guess that takes practice too!

99% practice, 1 % theory!

Please share your thoughts on this.

Ayurveda & The Mind

Yesterday, I was at a lecture with Janesh Vaidya. He is an Indian ayurvedic physician practicing in Stockholm. I have several friends who go to him, and some of them have had remarkable healings. He had a lecture at Yogayama in Stockholm in spring this year, and it was very inspiring. So naturally I went to his second lecture there yesterday, equally inspiring! I would like to share my notes. They are a bit fragmented, but I hope you can get something from them anyway.
....................................................................................................
Adopt ayurveda to your life and culture. Don´t swallow everthing, and don´t try to change everthing at once. Do it little by little.
The base for good health is:

AHAR/ food
VIHAR/ lifestyle
VIJAR/ thoughts

AHAR/ FOOD
Food is my medicine, sleep is my therapy.
When you shop for food, know before what is good for you, and don´t buy it just becuse it´s a good offer. Get to know your dosha, and what your current imbalance is, and eat accordingly. Preparation; your kitchen is a pharmacy, respect your kitchen and make it a pleasant place. Cook with love and attention. Steamcooking is a good way of cooking, since it keeps most of the nutrition. Never reheat food, always eat fresh. Quality is a lot more important than quantity. Don´t eat too much. The amount that you can fit in your cuped hands is enough. When you eat too much, your body gets deprived of energy, since the body requires a lot of energyto digest food. Don´t eat out too often. The cooks at the restaurants don´t know what you need, and you´ll end up eating what is not good for you. Important to eat with focus (important to do everything in life with focus). He called it Ahar Dhyana- food meditiation. Also important to chew well to be able to absorb the nutrition (especially carbohydrates- my note).

VIHAR/ LIFESTYLE
Have a lifestyle that is good for YOU. Not one that is imposed on you by society, family, media or whatever. YOU have a choice. Your day is divided into 8h sleep, 8h work and 8h personal time. Use it well.
Sleep is extremely important. If you do not sleep well for a longer time, you will get sick. Go to bed at the same time every day, and wake up at the same time, Even if you do not fall asleep at once, keep to it, and in 21 days you will see that it has changed. Remember- sleep is therapy. In Indian culture, a mans lifetime is said to be 120 years. When you are 60 years old, life begins. Then you have struggled and learned what you need, and you can finally settle down and start living! Sounds very nice I think! In the west, many people think life ends at 60! Don´t focus too much on your body. The body grows old, but the mind doesn´t! The mind grows and expands continually!
Work: Choose a profession you love to do. If you are not satisfied, change! Change is part of life_-embrace it! Be bold, take risks! Beleive 100% , and you will get it. See failure as something positive, something you learn from.
Personal life: Spend a lot of time with family and friends. Communication is the base of any good relationship. Our family is our base, a place to come home to.
Get to know yourself. Selfstudy. Often when we feel that life is missing something, although we seem to have everything, we are missing the spiritual. And spirituality is knowing yourself.

VIJAR/ THOUGHTS
Happiness is what you think, not what you have.

You can see the mind like a computer. The brain is like a hard drive, your thoughts are the software. This means you can program the mind with positive or negative "programs".
Your thoughts, positive or negative, drop down like seeds into your heart/ stomach and create feelings. These feelings in turn drop down into your gut/ reproductive area and create emotions, which is the base of your energy level. This is a system that energizes itself. The more negative thoughts you have, the more negative emotions you will have, and they in turn create more negative thoughts, and the circle reinforces itself. But the same is true of positive thoughts, so work to reinfiorce those instead. Imagine that you have a filter (he drew a picture of a filter in the throat, I´m not sure if you were to imagine a filter there, or if it was just an image). If you have positive thoughts, imagine a filter like a convex lens. It will focus and sharpen the positive. If you have negative thoughts, see the filter like a concave lens. It will disperse the negative. Learn how to "spit out" the negative thoughts. This filter is your conciousness. Observe, classify and receive or reject. Don´t criticise, don´t judge- just analyse.

Finally some words on life energy.
Know how to use it. Focus your energy, don´t disperse it by doing too many things.
Important to have a vision in life. This vision will give you a goal. When you know your goal, you will find a way. He gave an example from his own life: his vision was to help people, his goal became to be an ayurvedic physician, the way was to study and then practice the profession. This gives meaning to his life, and makes it bigger than just waking up in the morning, going to work and so on, you know, the treadwheel of life. The one we all fear...

WHAT IS YOUR VISION?

I Will Stand On My Head

Only three weeks to go, and during these weeks I have to learn how to stand on my head without the wall, without the teacher. I have been struggling with this pose for three years now, and I still feel I need the wall! My teacher Maria is trying to prepare me for Mysore. She said that there will be no wall for me in Mysore. So I had better learn in three weeks! She is very firm, but in a warm and loving way.
I can stand, but I have problems getting up. My left shoulder is much weaker than my right one, so that makes me unbalanced and I can´t press my shoulders into the floor like I should. But teacher sais it is enough with the strength of just one shoulder. So, trust the teacher, trust the method....and we will see!
Also there is the fear of falling. This is a mental obstacle. One of my biggest aspirations in life is to be free. And I would really like to be free from the wall! Before going into headstand, I picture myself doing the pose perfectly. We will see if this helps! The body changes quicker than the mind. This is important to remember.

Being True to Yourself

Being in the mood for poetry, I would like to share a poem that touched my heart. The first time I heard it, read by my teacher, lying in shavasana after a long practice, being very present and open, I cried...!

The Invitation
By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not prettyevery day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

On Changing Negative Habits

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS
From There's a Hole in My Sidewalk By Portia Nelson

I I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost ...
I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in.
It's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.

Healthy Snacks

Bill, a teacher at my shala, makes these wonderfull balls made of dried fruit and nuts, which are wonderful to eat as a snack after practice. I´ve experimented a bit, and I now make them now and again to bring as a snack. Many friends are asking for the recipe, so I thought it a good idea to write it here on the blog. I was thinking of naming them "Bills Balls", but hmm, no, I think not! If I remenber right, he calls them "Energy Balls". He told us they are made in India when a woman who is breast feeding needs to produce more milk. So they are quite nutricious.

ENERGY BALLS (ANANDA ROLLS)
Dried figs, dried unsulphured apricots, dried raisins, linseeds, sunflower seeds, almonds and dried coconut

Mix everything in a food processor. I put in about the same amount of everything. All ingredients should be dry. No soaking. Take a teaspoon of the mixture in your hand and press it together and then roll into a ball. If necessary, if it is too dry and it gets hard to roll them, you can add a few drops of cold pressed sesame oil.
Voilá!

There is another recipe I would like to share. When I was in Houtskär, Finland, on a retreat with Lino Miele and Petri Räisänen, they made a very delicious porridge.

FRESH PORRIDGE
1 dl sunflower seeds, 3/4 dl linseeds (freshly crushed), 0,5 dl sesame seeds (freshly crushed), 1/4 dl rosehip powder (nypon), 1 dl dried plums, 1 dl dried apricots
Soak in water overnight.
In the morning, add some more water if needed, add one banana and mix together. Eat as it is together with oat milk, or use as a topping on your regular porridge. It´s quite sweet.

Formula of the Djungle Physician

John Scott is one of the best teachers I´ve encountered. I´ve come to realize that the workshops that only have Mysore practice are not so fulfilling. Maybe you get a few nice adjustments and inspiration, but you haven´t learned so much. But John had a four day workshop with lots of theory and practice. Talking a lot about the philosophy, and less about asana technique. He was very good at giving images of theoretical ideas. He gave a picture of how prana (inner wind) is like the ocean. It is stillness, emptyness. The breath is the outer wind, creating waves on the ocean. The waves are the form (asana). So we practiced together in silence, syncronised, just listening to the breath, and it really felt like we were waves on the ocean! Just energy moving.

He gave us some formulas:

FORMULA OF THE DJUNGLE PHYSICIAN
1. SPINE (straighten spine- gives the foundation)
2. RELAX (creates space)
3. BREATH (moves prana)
4. COUNTING (meditiation- stills the mind)

ANOTHER FORMULA
1. Faith in the method
2. Faith in the teacher
3. Faith in the self
4. Copy teacher (this is very asian- something I recognize from my taiji practice, but it requires a good teacher. Westerners are taught to have a sceptical mind, which is good in certain ways, but I think it can sometimes be in the way for learning new ideas. I´ve read somewhere that you should have an open mind, but a sceptical veiw.)

Preparations

Seven weeks to go, and I´m starting to think about what to bring. I read in one of the Mysore blogs that you should bring as little as possible, since you can buy everything there. I´ve never been a small packer...I always want to be prepared for evey situation! Control freak I guess. But I am going to do my best this time. I think I am going to have lunch with my friend Jesus soon. He was in Mysore in March I think it was. I´m sure he can give me some advice.

Here are some of the things I´m thinking about wether to bring or not:

• bed sheets
• towels (that I don´t need to bring with me home)
• cushion (I already bought one, it´s going to take up half my suitcase, but I´m going to need to sleep well down there!)
• yoga mat, both the rubber one and the cotton one, or just the rubber one

As you see, these things can take up pretty much of my suitcase, so if you want to add a comment and give me some advice, feel free!

Setting up the blog

Actually, I had not thought about having a travel blog, but a friend of mine asked me if I was going to have one, and it seemed like a nice idea. So, here it is. I hope that I will be diligent enough to write frequently, and perhaps also show some pictures. I´m writing in English, partly because there will be no å, ä, ö in India, partly because I wish this blog to be accessible to other yogis thinking about going to Mysore and for my friends who don´t speak Swedish.

I`ve been reading some blogs from Mysore, and it has helped me get a picture of what to expect. Well, I´m trying to have very few expectations (they usually make you disppointed, but are very difficult to avoid! (aparigraha-non attachment), but at the same time i think getting a picture of what it might be like can take away some of the fears you have about traveling to an exotic country far away.....