On Discipline

It´s easier to fall out than in....
My goal is to do my practice 5-6 times a week. But how many weeks per year do I really practice that many times? This winter I have had three colds, then I don´t practice. I don´t practice the first three days of ladies holidays. Some days I over sleep. This morning I was thinking of practicing, but then I convinced myself that on the 1st of May it´m my right to sleep in. Yesterday I wanted to be early to work, so I skipped practice. Sunday I will be out of town. So, I practiced Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I think I will go tonight also. So that makes four times this week. I guess it´s not an unusual week. Maybe I don´t practice 5-6 times a week? Maybe it´s just my idea of my practice? Anyways, better to have that guideline and at least practice four times a week than to have a lesser goal and practice even less.

I think the problem is really in my head. I get a bad conciouss when I don´t do my practice, and what good does that do me? I´m thinking that I want to do this practice my whole life, and then I will need to have a softer and kinder approach to myself and the practice. Practice ahimsa:-) To keep up the passion and love of the practice, and not kill it with too many demands and discipline. But on the other hand, you need disciple to keep going. I remember Kimberly Flynn Williams saying that once you start skipping practice, the easier it gets to start skipping it. That´s why you need disciplne. But she also said that the more regular your practice gets, the easier it will be to sustain. Some hope!

Hmm, I think I´ve been writing about this before, which just shows that it is something that is occuping my mind a lot. It´s hard to have a full time job and getting up early in the morning every day to do your practice, and then rushing to get to work on time! Then you come home and after a few hours it´s time to go to bed. I should be asleep by 10pm, but usually I don´t get to sleep until 11pm, which makes it more of a struggle to get up in the morning. It was a lot easier to get up at 3:30 am in Mysore that it is to get up a 6 am here in Stockholm in my everyday life!

It´s a balance between having discipline and being kind to yourself. Have I written this before or what:-)